It so happens that many times we just wish to have some moment return that we may act differently and stack it in our memory box amongst good memories. 
Something to smile about when the mind is knotted with the complexities of the routine. 

Some people brush our lives.... like a whiff of an exotic fragrance and one wonders if it was okay to let it flow away.... 

Many instances I can recall. 

But I have not yet forgotten Daniel. 
Yes that was what was written on his OPD slip.  
11 years ago.... 
In hospital, he came for some consultation. 
We had lots of foreigners coming to us, a regular feature of a world famous tourist station. 

Daniel was from Ireland. 

I noticed some flow of energy while talking to him. His happiness showed in his smile. 
He was so happy to meet me he told. 

Then he asked if I could be free in the evening. I saw the request and hope in his deep eyes. 

But bound by the ethics "not to date with patients" I just pretended to act not interested. 

The look of utter disappointment in his pleading eyes made me sad.... 
He left the chamber with a heavy gait and didn't come back. 

Sitting in my chair dumbfounded I reasoned with myself. 

There would be unleashing of wagging tongues... 

You would hear the juiciest, spiciest gossip about yourself the things you "did", that one would really wonder if the world is crazy or you are the idiot in respecting its so called norms. 

Then the big question : Is there only one kind of friendship between a man and woman? 
Why can't it be a normal thing? 

Don't we miss out on some great friendships just because we thought it is not right to make friends with opposite sex? 

Why we have to keep on dragging the loathsome, meaningless so called friendships with the same sex? 

Can we rise above the dirty minds? 

Are we bold enough? 

We need to struggle to shed off this hypocrisy which seems to have become a second skin on every one. 

The curbing of happiness always creates negativity... 

And pure happiness and peace comes from honesty, genuineness and an open hearted approach to what opportunities lay in our way. 

Daniel made me think that.
I admire him for holding the mirror in front of my face and for bringing smiles.... 
Even to this day ! 

Serenity & Magnificence 

Beautiful Dhauladhar Range 

Winters & warm hearts

Winters. 

I am invariably transported to the years spent in hills, in the snugly lap of majestic Dhauladhar range of Himalayas. 

Mountains all silvery white, a divine glow in sunlight. 

Just mesmerizing . 

One is amazed at the beauty of nature and its grace. A treat for the eyes and soul. 

I remember the snow flakes falling from the sky and my car was covered with them and tiny flakes falling on me felt like tiny  cotton fragments. 

And how we had to walk carefully to avoid slipping on the road covered in icy sheet . 

The plants, trees and everything outside was covered in snow. 

Just beautiful ! 

In the hospital, we had electric heaters placed near our feet under the table. 

And the peon at the door of the OPD chamber had the "sigdi/angithi " (an iron 

structure shaped like a square pot balanced on four short legs. Coals used to burn in it) 

Time after time we used to heat our numb hands also by placing them near the heater. 

Every one used to be loaded with woolens.

But what surprised me was the "tolerance" of Lamas (Tibetan monks) towards the cold. 

Being in the city which was seat of Tibetan Government in Exile and His Holiness The Dalai Lama, it was a mixture of Tibetan and local pahari culture, mixed with foreigners. My every morning opd started with seeing Lamas and other Tibetan patients. Since language was the issue because majority of them didn't know how to explain in Hindi or English and I didn't know ABC of their own language, they always brought interpreter with them. Some times a single interpreter had   the heavy responsibility of showing so many different patients in different departments and there used to be frantic search for the interpreter when she /he was not available and patient was sitting right in front of me  :) 

That time the gestures came handy and of course my own clinical experience and knowledge. Both the parties (Doctor and Patients) used to smile at the absurdity of the situation  :) 

Many times patient came back having found the interpreter somewhere in the hospital and asked for the prescription to be repeated orally for better understanding. 

Lamas were definitely NOT loaded with woolens like us. Their sleeveless maroon robes were the standard garment. Sometimes they would just take a warm shawl over the robe. And woolen leggings sometimes. 

I found the older generation of Lamas more disciplined religiously and more tolerant towards the hardships of life and weather. 

A feeling of respect automatically exuded towards them. 

We also had females (Nuns). They were full of life with their tonsured hair and maroon robes and chirping in their language. I just loved to see them. 

I never saw a Lama with a sad look. They were always smiling no matter how unwell they were. 

Celebrating life? 

Cooking - Add a pinch of love in what you cook :)

Stuffed Tomatoes 

With Cheese gravy

Honing my

Culinary skills by trying different recipes. 
Cooking is a useful stress buster ! 

Religion is a personal belief

The world today needs a new religion. 

A dire need... 

A religion called Humanity. 

A good choice for even an atheist. 

Every other religion is a personal belief. 
Depends upon our birth, upbringing, and our personal choice. It gives us strength.
Most importantly it teaches us to be humble. 

But if we are unable to be strong and humble, is it because our religion is not good enough to teach us these values or are we bad students? 

I remember a recent comment by an acquaintance of mine . We were standing in the parking area after the day's work, just relaxing and the conversation turned to religious intolerance. 

"Religion is nothing but your own choice of your last rites. Whether you want to be cremated or buried, " he said. 

It made me think. He was right in a way. 

I wonder why people indulge in arguments over religion. 

I remember, having witnessed the heated arguments of two of my friends belonging to different religions, during hostel days. 
Those were the days of terrorism in Punjab. 
But such good friends fought like dogs, blaming and counter blaming each other and the deeds done by people of each other's religion. 
And sometimes the arguments were just a point away from physical assault ! 

I had the tough job of acting a peace maker, some sort of local unit of United Nations . 
Afterwards they were normal as if the argument never happened. 

But all the bad mouthing leaves an impression in the minds forever. 

Why not adopt the thing that is badly needed in today's world : Humanity 

Share a smile, a kind word, or gesture, in our day to day life. 
Even with your workers, employees, colleagues, security guard at the gate, the guy who gets you tea coffee.... 
It can be anyone. 

Let's make the air light. 
Let us get rid of this heavy air polluted with negativity. 

Healthy air is good for health afterall ! 

Many clever people mostly men have their own ways to lure women. 
Well age is no bar. 
Depends solely on the intentions. 
One encounters different situations and handles them in their own way. 
Many times the whole thing becomes a cat and mouse chase:) 

1989 :

A fine day.. 
Usual morning routine of patient check ups and rounds. 
As House Surgeons (Residents) in the Department of Medicine in the hospital, we had heavy responsibility. We were to take care of treatment of patients from 2nd to 6 th floor. The wards were divided, beds were also divided amongst different residents. 

That particular day there was some excitement about the patient in last room in private ward...  mother of a song writer in Bollywood. The old lady was in coma. So the son in his 50s had come to see her. I had heard his songs. Beautiful lyrics. 
I did my usual round before coming again with the senior colleague. After I came out of the room, the "bollywood man " followed me and started asking about his mother. 

I was respectful towards him because of his age and because I often got  to hear his songs on radio. 
After the medical queries, the talk became informal and turned to his profession. 
When I told him I also love singing, he said he would like to hear me sing few lines to him. 
Okay ! Wow ! I had a bollywood man as my audience ! :)) 
In my free time I invited him to our Duty Room. 
He sat in opposite chair and kept on looking at me. 
He liked my song. 
"Get a commercial shoot done", he said, "I would like to cast you as my heroine in a movie that I am planning to make. It is based on the struggle of a doctor." 

I knew it was not possible... 
Then he got up from the chair to go out. But instead he shook my hand and hugged me. But when you hug someone your lips don't try to brush the person's hair !
 (unless of course they are "directed" there) :) 

I moved away and told him I would think about the offer of movie. 
After that day I started avoiding him. Meanwhile his mother passed away. 
Now I wouldn't have to see him I thought. 
But he was like stubborn mule.... 

Once I was sitting with my female colleague in the duty room when he appeared in the door way. 
I was disturbed at his guts. 
But what I found amusing was the expression on my colleague's face. 
She was so annoyed and whispered me to tell "that man" that she is not interested. 
Not interested? In what? I was curious and had intuition what it was all about and felt like laughing. 
I went to the door and told him that my colleague was not interested in his offer of a movie. 
He had the gall ! He said, "No.  I came for you !" 
Now this time I told him he was wasting his time and more than that he was wasting our precious time. We know what he was after...... and so on.... 
He looked at the floor for some time, weighing his options and left quietly. 

We had a great laugh at the fantasies of a crazy old man. (Although 50s is not an old age group but at that time we thought so).  :) 

Bamboo trees

They were aplenty in the beautiful Kangra Valley. A memory of the years spent in hills. We even had bamboo pickle too! 

Sounded strange in the beginning but when

I actually saw it and tasted it was good. 

1980s....

Society had great influence on young men & women. 
Although it was decreasing with each passing decade.  

1980s were the time of opening up of society a bit.. 
Disco era, girls and boys started falling in love in more numbers. 
Although such acts were considered bold and surely love was in its "infancy". 
These days love is adult and lost its innocence of its childhood. 

In the college there were hardly any couples. Maybe one or two in each class. 
And they were so "famous" :) 
Because everyone knew about them. 

This was the India before the technology took over the emotions.. 
This was the time when the messages were exchanged through hand written letters. 
Or 
In girls hostel, send a Mess servant to the boys hostel... the message beautifully written and sealed (so the mess servant doesn't read it himself :)). 
Back then, girls didn't go out to meet their friends in the hostel. So mess servants acted as couriers. 
They were given instructions to get the reply too. 
Oh what a restless period of handing over the message to the "courier" and receiving the reply ! 
Waiting period was torture. 

So unlike these days of instant personal communication 24 ×7. 

No. Those were the times of endless waiting, imagination, silent mental talks (because you didn't have mobiles to talk at odd hours) 
There were real dates. 
If any boy came to meet his girlfriend in hostel, every one knew. That girl became "different" (not in bad sense). But curiosity still occupied other girls minds. 

There was a senior girl whose boyfriend came to meet her and sometimes he would turn up late when gates were locked and guard was there. So they would talk (like many others) through the closed iron gates. He outside and she inside. Looked as if he had come to meet the prisoner  :) 
And often he brought her things to eat. So once we were having our post dinner walk, and we witnessed it. He had brought a steel tiffin box, full of chicken dish and she is talking and eating the chicken simultaneously. And she was already overweight! 
We were quite amused at the sight. 
He was a dedicated serious visitor to the hostel but they couldn't take the marriage vows for some reason or other. 
Many couples just drifted apart after completing the degree and leaving the hostel. Some managed to get married. But some used the opportunity as time pass..... 

Back in 1980s..

Medical College

As usual while going to Physiology Lab, I am filled with uncomfortable feeling.
I detest the Physiology experiments so much !

I hate the way we are taught the working of a human body.
And the method of teaching is by doing experiments on poor frogs!
And that also on living "specimens" !

There is a feeling of revulsion inside. But have to bear it.
Innocent animals being killed alive and stripped off of their skin and then dissected....
Just to make us see how a muscle, nerve etc would react to a certain stimulus.
Every day it is happening and my heart goes out to these animals who can't protect themselves.
I feel very happy when an odd "specimen" slips from a student's hand and starts limping away, still alive, because the student didn't use proper force in hitting and stunning the animal.
The lab assistant scolds the "clumsy" student who is himself /herself scared.

I always requested my table mate to do this "honour"
Few times she got fed up and I had to handle the specimen myself ( With a heavy heart of course)

There was a lab assistant, a veteran of such experiments having spent most part of his life in this lab. He was the real boss around, with his personality, expertise and a sense of humor.

Once he was demonstrating the he stripping off of the skin of the animal. And he used his favorite line (to make the whole stuffy atmosphere light), " Now we will remove the Salwar (trousers) of the frog"  (he was referring to the legs part of the animal)

Dark humor of course. But it prompted a few nervous smiles from the students.
Then the moment he pulled the skin apart in one go, there was a loud thud in the group.
The girl standing beside me had fallen down due to shock.
Every one stepped aside and some helped her getting up. We thought she would leave the  class but she was a studious girl, didn't want to miss any lecture or class :)

I have wondered at the futility of animal experiments. Why can't they just demonstrate in a group?
What use is it to make silly graphs on the rotating cylinders?

The only thing that  I hated....
 after of course  the alien biochemistry formulas and energy cycles ! (another horrible thing :)) 

Gigolo - I am a normal man

He entered my office @ 2 years ago. 
Smart, well mannered, sporting a turban. 
He spoke in an impressive way. 
Not handsome but overall a pleasing personality. 
He had some private issue, discussed it, took the prescription, thanked me and left the office. 

After a month a man opens the door of my chamber, and flashes a bright smile. Courtesy demands that I reciprocate. 
I did. 
He asks, "Do you recognize me?" 
I couldn't recall. 
So he sits on the patient seat and says he understands why I couldn't remember him. 

Because on his first visit he was wearing a turban. Now he was in a clean shaven look. 

Now it is difficult to remember people when one is meeting so many new faces every day. At least I find it hard to recall. 

But something about the way he spoke, his manners, body language etc seemed to flash an image( of a similar encounter few days ago)  in my mind. 

I had recognized him. 
He had another private concern. 
Apparently on examination the instrument was okay. 
So I assured him. 
Told him not to worry too much and try to relax. 

Then he told. 
Opened up his innermost fear. 
He was a professional. 
A gigolo. 

It opened up the whole new world for me as he kept on talking and I listened..... 
He talked about all the training, exercise, medical check ups, diet and much more... 

He was a married man with two kids and ran an electronics shop. 
But to earn more money, he was in this profession. No his family didn't know about it. 
Then he told how careful their group is about privacy etc. 
I could check him out on net ! 
I declined the offer mentally. :) 

After he left with the assurance that he was fine, I sat glued to my chair for sometime.... 
I was thinking about his family, his own double life... 

Many of us lead double lives. 
Mentally, physically, emotionally even ! 
Exploring the greener pastures.... 
Or a little journey to the other planet(not literally :)) 

Human nature is complex.... 
Sometimes one is lost in one's own jigsaw puzzle. 

But never lose hope or forget to smile  :) 

  

1991 

Crazy days. 

DD ( Daredevil & Dreamer) 
Deadly combination :)