Happy new year !

Last hours of 2016. 

Time flies !  

In today's fast world every thing flies . 

Days, months, years..... 

Even the memories... 

People fly away from the life and other people come  flying  in your life ! Whoosh ! 

There is barrage of new year wishes on the social media. 
Forwarded messages from friends and acquaintances. 

No one has time to call you up personally and say these three words  : Happy New Year  :) 

Still it is good to remain in touch even if it is in the virtual world. 
Even if there is no salt in the dish, or no sugar in a dessert, it is still a dish or dessert.  
What about the taste then ? 

So do we add some taste of Love and Friendship in our messages and communication ?  That is strongly needed ! 
How much difference it will make in making our lives " vibrant and fruitful" ! 

Spreading happiness is the best service we can render as humans. 

World needs it badly. 

I send a hug of love, a smile and beautiful words wishing all the beautiful people around the world a Happy New Year 2017. 

Amen 

Incredible India - 3

Amidst all the madness and confusion after Demonetization that hit the country on 8th November, there are many jokes going around on social media. 

Every where, everyone talks about this every day. 

The whole country became  " poor". 

One can't deposit more than a certain amount in the banks. 
One can't withdraw more than a pittance from the banks. 
One can't keep so much gold etc etc. 

So many restrictions on money and it surely has affected every one in the country. 

Now some brainy leader in a city in  the State  of Gujarat came up with a strange order for the people /animals of the city. 

The order says that NO COW OR BUFFALO CAN EXCRETE MORE THAN 3 KILOS OF COWDUNG AND THEIR BABIES CAN'T EXCRETE MORE THAN 1 KILOS PER DAY ! 

This news had me in fits of laughter . :)) 

The order further says that the owner of the violater will be punished by blackening his face and sitting with his back towards the front of the cart and paraded through the city. :) 

The order has been issued to keep the city clean. 

Well, good intentions. But how the animals will control how much shit they throw  out and plop on the roads? 

Very logical order by the Mayor. But very funny and so confusing to the poor cattle !  :) 

Incredible India - 2

Another example of faith amongst all the Space and Nuclear programs. 

I mean such stories amuse me also. 

Individual faith ? 

I am not being judgemental about anyone. 

But surely one can share something interesting. 

This second news that caught my attention :

A couple wished for a daughter few years ago. But they never had any daughter. So they bought a cow and treated her as their daughter all these years. 

Now when the cow became pregnant, they were very happy and held a lavish " baby shower /Godh bharai ceremony" for the cow. 

Now I really appreciate their gesture. 

Showing kindness to the animals and being a good human being. 

Why should I be the one to challenge their faith and judge them? Their harmless actions? These simple people full of love teach us more than the complicated snobs who pride themselves in calling sophisticated and advanced. 

Amongst all the madness going all over the world, such incidents bring smile on our faces. And I really cherish these smiles. 

Incredible India !

India always amazes me. 

A land of different beliefs, faiths, cultures. 

Religious faith and Science go hand in hand here. 

Just like hand and glove ! 

Sometimes the faith becomes the glove and sometimes science becomes the glove.  

According to the demand of occasion, the role reverses.  Every religious Indian may also use  the complexities of science in his or her life. 

The chief of Space Program and Mars Mission may also be a believer in Astrology. 

The CEO of a business house may have all the luxuries but he may prefer to eat sitting on the floor, food kept humbly on the banana leaf.  

Still amongst all this I get to read some interesting 'deviations' from the usual practice of faith. 

For example :

This visually challenged girl getting married to God, Lord Krishna. 

Proper wedding ceremonies are to be held, with wedding procession of the 'groom' starting from the temple and reaching the bride's place. 

And the wedding feast. It really amazes me....... this manifestation of the individual faith............ 

The successful Mars Mission and being a Nuclear Power......... This also happens in India. 

India -  A mysterious land. 

  

Meet & Greet at MYFM

Friday, 25th November 2016. 

What a wonderful experience it was at 94.3 MYFM. 

I was invited for a program - Meet and Greet, hosted by RJ Geet. 
Some listeners were invited by the Channel and it was an interactive program in which I spoke about Skin Care in Winters. 

But what a lovely interaction it turned it to be ! 

It was as if all of us were a family and casually discussing about various skin problems in Winters and how we can prevent that. 
Never in my life I discussed as freely with people I didn't know..... 
Normally when I talk to patients in my office,  there is some professional and caring  approach towards them. 

But here the whole scenario was pleasantly different. 
Along with the academic discussion, we had such fun ! 

And the credit goes to the easy and lively approach of the charming RJ Geet. 
She made every one comfortable with her witty remarks full of humor. 
And sure enough everyone enjoyed the evening ! 
A guest also recited a poem he wrote. 
There were two friends who had met many years ago on a train journey and became  best buddies ! 

Amazing. 

I got a chance to closely associate with people who were there for professional queries. I got to see their lighter side, we cracked jokes and had a fun filled evening. 
And afterwards the guests got free passes for musical nights. Every one was so happy. 
It never seemed as if we were meeting for the first time. 

After the interactive session, I got a chance to try my hand in Cricket in the office ! 
What a wonderful way to relax ! 
Two smiling employees asked me to throw a ball and he gave a shot with the bat. 
What fun ! 

I really liked the ambience and pleasant attitude of every one in 94.3 MYFM.



Some glimpses of  the evening : 

 

With Charming, Vivacious RJ Geet 

Some lighter moments over coffee and snacks 

photo courtesy : 

(Yatin "the smart dude") 

 Beautiful memories 

Happy Diwali !

HAPPY DIWALI  

May there be light in every one's life.... 

Let the demons of darkness be engulfed in its brightness.... 

Let there be peace on this earth... 

Let every one at least enjoy this human birth... 

I pray for a peaceful world. 

Rita 

Seoul.... The magic of warmth

South Korea 

Felt like a home away from home. 

Such is the magic of the place, full of warm hospitality. 

Communication was not difficult even if one hardly found anyone who could speak a few words of English. Some people even didn't know any English word. 

So how did we communicate? 

With gestures, smiles and laughter ! 

It would take ages to make the other person understand what you wanted to say. 

It was fun, and it was lovely.... 

A celebration of humanity. 

The Little Sparrow

Yesterday while cleaning the drawers I came across these lines written hastily on a piece of paper many years ago. 

Hastily, because the thoughts were constantly flowing.... 

This was a "tribute"  to a beautiful friendship across the world, language &  culture no barrier. 

Beautiful indeed ! 

2/2/08

                     " Journey of a Sparrow "

I am a little Sparrow... flying high and scaling the skies. 
Sometimes I chirp sweet songs of happiness and love... 
At sunset I fly back to my cozy nest to rest and recollect all that I learned during the day. 
Once I was tired in the scorching heat, my throat dry with thirst and I couldn't sing beautiful songs of love... 
I saw a window. 
No matter how far it was, it was there and Opened ! 

A bowl of water was kept on the sill by its merciful owner. 

From a distance I drank it to my heart's content. 
Ask me not how I became alive with energy.. 
Cool and sweet water... 
The owner was merciful. 
He sprinkled some drops of this nectar on my tired wings. 
I fluttered my wings and danced with joy ! 

Now having found the place to quench my thirst, I perched on the window daily. 
Every day he was there..... a bowl of water ready in his hands. 
Always smiling... kind and full of affection.... 

He understood my tiredness. 

Soon a bond developed between us. 
The thirsty and the quencher.. 

The more I asked, the more he gave. 

The window became our little world... 
Now and then I would crane my neck to see inside his home. 
One day he smiled and stepped aside to let me have a glimpse of his own world. 

I smiled and nodded. 

I understood. 

Flying higher and higher in the sky, above the clouds, I sang the songs.... 

The songs of beauty and love. 



Rita 

For my heart

Wrote these lines during moments of  " heart to heart"  talks with my heart... 

" You are an ocean. 
Your depth is limitless. 
A quencher of thirsts, 
Thirsty souls dive deep in you. 
You shower them with blissful treasures 
hidden in your bosom. 
Your own thirst.....? 
None can fathom how you are writhing 
with it. 
And how your gasping waves rush out 
towards heavens.... 
Only heaven can give you 
some respite from the volcanos 
erupting from your core. 
Yet the celestial dance of your majestic waves, 
inspires many a souls. 
Your mystery fills them with awe...... 
They don't come near you for fear of being engulfed. 
Every time they look at you, they are filled with peaceful longing.... 
They just stand on the shore, 
touching and playing with your waves. 
And you? 
Like a perfect lover, engulf them in your loving embrace...... 
You let go of them when they sway with weakness. 
You gently leave them in the sandy beach of their lives, with their souls full of longing and seeking your soothing touch forever...... "

Rita 

Pine flower

Pine Flower 

( I painted it for a friend) 

Little girl wants to play

 " I can't find the right word for it. 

It just keeps skipping my mind. 

Maybe the mind tries to deny its existence. 

That was another life. 

Just a 7 year old little girl. 

I remember playing hide and seek with friends under the stairs and backyard of neighboring houses. 
Every day.... 
There were so many games that kept the kids busy whole day. 

But when some adult figure comes and grabs you from behind..... 

Is that a game anymore? 

He was my friend's cousin, a guy in his twenties. 

We were laughing and playing this hide and seek when I felt him near me. 

Some inner instinct told me to run but he was powerful and grabbed me from behind and tried to grope and violate by touching here and there... 

Although ignorant of what was happening, I felt a strong disgust for the fellow and tried to push him and struggle my way out from his grasp. 


He just kept on trying  harder and laughing. 
I thought he was just playing with me, some game that didn't feel right. 

My friend must have witnessed it because she came to me afterwards and said, "Brother (cousin) was just having fun with you?" 

I was not sure if it was a " consolation"  or a query. 

But I dreaded his presence around me. 

I always wondered why he didn't do anything in front of the others and ignored me or forgot me completely when some elders were around. And why he sought a chance to find me alone. 

Predator..... 

I was confused. 

Should I tell others? What will they think? 
Will they stop me from going out and playing? 

I am a little girl. I want to play. 
But not the dirty games..... 

Thankfully  I had the sense to avoid him in future. 

He wouldn't meet my eyes again. 

A monster in sheep's clothing. 

How many such little girls face the threat of violation and sexual assault from their acquaintances, friends and relatives? 

I say, " quite a number". 

They are confused, scared and ashamed. 

Scared that they will be blamed for any immoral act, for inciting the offender. 

We see meek sheep. But you need to learn to see the hungry eyes of the wolves. 

They lure them with candies etc and the unsuspecting prey is caught in the trap. 

Some are threatened with dire consequences. 

Keep your mouth shut  ! 

So many little girls around the world suffer such humiliation. "

It was just one incident that someone dared to narrate..... And I salute her. 

How many will speak and lift the masks up? 
The masks of decency and honor? 

Spouse woes

Two ladies.. 

Fed up with the husbands... 

Two different scenarios. 

I still remember them sometimes after all these years because it gives me food for thought. 

The first one. 

She was living independently, working in a bank, much older to me but somehow became a sort of friend. 

Most of the time I found her frowning and in sour mood. 
More than the mood was her constant frowning look and a rough tone of speech. 
Especially when she was talking to her relatives on husband's side or her very sweet daughter-in-law. 

She always intrigued me with her choice of colors. 
Always wore either black or white color. 

Never any other color. 

I asked her why she always wore black or white. 

She replied, " These are the only true colors." 

She never liked to talk about her husband who lived in another city and was a beaurocrat. 
She just didn't like him. 
He was not up to her expectations. 
Although it was a love marriage. Two different cultures, from two different States. 

He provided her with every material comfort. And she was a working woman herself. 
In a big bungalow she stayed alone with a young man who was her servant and whom she had brought from some village in remote hill area. 
He was so scared of her ! 
She always carried a revolver with her in the briefcase in the car. 
"For self protection ", she said. 

I happened to visit her place once. 

What a display of possessions ! 

Some absurdity too. 

I mean I saw in her bedroom baskets  full of dry fruits. They were displayed like show pieces, spilling their contents. So many baskets laden with varieties of dry fruits! 

Just to show off . 

And the way she kept on ordering her servant rudely through out the lunch, spoiled the afternoon. 
She wanted to show us how she had every one under control in her house. 

I found it funny. 
She looked like a superfluous fool. 

Anyway once in one of her weak moments while talking to me I saw tears in her eyes. 

Disappointment with her husband was finally trickling over. 

He was not as she had expected. 

She didn't divulge the details but the pain was visible on her face. 

I felt sorry for her. 

Behind the brave mask there was a lonely woman. 

I had met her husband at a party at their place. Such a nice, decent, soft spoken man! 

What might have gone wrong between them? 

One never knows the origin of silent wars between the partners..... 
Both parties are the losers... 

Unless one tries to end the hostilities, remove the mental blocks,   it just takes whole life to even know the person you are living with. 


Second case  :

She always came to the hospital, all smiling and cheerful, but of course some ailment once in a while. 
Overall she was a smart, charming woman. 

With time she became more friendly with me. 
And more open and honest. 

One day she popped up a question to me. 
A strange one indeed. 
She wanted her " tightening of the system". 
I knew what she meant. 
"Why? "I asked her. 
" My husband never spares me even for a single day.  He really likes it too much. 
This has made my "system" loose. "

I just smiled. 

Then she invited me to her place. I said definitely I would come. 
But her smile had some sort of invitation I didn't understand but I made a mental promise to myself not to visit her place. 

She met me many other times but I avoided any deep discussions with her. 

Was she really fed up with her husband? 

Or was she just  bragging?... 

Just friends

Imagine this :

You send a message to someone you think is your friend. 
A simple conversational message asking about the well-being etc. 

But no response. 

How do you feel ? 

What do you think? 

Do you feel sorry you misunderstood the person ? 

Or 

You feel you are misunderstood. 

I just wondered myself. 

Did I misunderstand him who said we were friends? 
Or 
Was I misunderstood ? 

Yes. 

You are a girl.  If you initiate a  chat or talk, 99 % chances are that  you are bound to be misunderstood. 

This is how the society is. 

People fail to see beyond the bodies. 

It is always a man and woman. 

Never two human beings, two minds, two beautiful people who can converse. 

Yes one has to be careful with unknown, dubious characters. 

But somebody you know and claim to be friends with...... 

If I choose to be indifferent to a friend's message, there can be three  apparent reasons :

I don't care 

Or 

I don't understand the intentions behind the message. 

Or 

I am avoiding the person because I am not sure of my own intentions. 


In all the three conditions, we are the losers. 

We lose a precious chance to experience a beautiful, understanding friendship. 

A friendship which lets you unravel your own self and discover your self. 

Are we so scared to let go of our social masks? 

Are we afraid to encounter our own faces in the mirrors? 

The mirror that you see in the selfless affection of your true friend's  eyes? 

Do you just want to forever remain in the illusion? 

Illusion of self importance.. 

The brightness of this illusion makes us blind. 
And our life a dark abyss. 

How about shaking a little bit of the conventional thinking? 

Not all  the women are " just women". 

Some can be very good friends.  :) 

And ladies ,  not all the men are " just men" 

Some are superb human beings and wonderful friends. 

Can we just remove the dark glasses of sexism from our eyes and see the beauty of friendship in its vibrant colors? 

Wake up man /woman  from your self imposed slumber of ignorance and deprivation. 

Wake up 

And 

Shake your self up ! 

Open your eyes. 

Hold out your hand to the firmness of faith and trust. 

Some one who  just appreciates you as a person, not who you are in your public or professional life. 

How many people we find who just love us and  not our positions? 

Hardly any. 

And we might miss them in the flock of sheep around us... 

So when they approach, don't turn your  back... 

Be strong, be sure of your self ! 

One world one love

Mountains in Iran 

( Picture sent by a friend from Iran) 

Mountains in India 

I am sure the Nature doesn't discriminate between different people, from different countries, religions, different races... 

It showers its bounty equally in its own way. 

It is the distortion of minds and thoughts which causes all the destruction in the world... 

The enemies of peace !  They  are their own enemies..... 

Any common man, any peace loving man in today's world is so insecure... 

So unsure...... 

Let us learn from the Nature.

From the fruit laden trees. 

Let's give shade of love to the tired souls, 

The spring of joy to the sad hearts. 

Let us make their faith return.. 

In humanity. 

The only sound that I hear from my heart is to spread joy and peace. 

Let me enjoy the rich company of mother nature without fear.. 

Let me play in its lap with freedom. 

Freedom from negativity.. 

Let there be hugs instead of bullets or blasts. 

Let us not be blind to the beauty of this world around us. 

Let us keep our eyes opened to behold the mysteries of life. 

Spread love, not tears. 

Amen 

A motivational talk for parents of special children

Yesterday recorded this  motivational talk for parents and, attendants and care takers of specially abled children. 

I have seen parents shut themselves in a shell..... 
All doors locked.... 

Happiness is an alien word for most of them. 

Have just tried to break their shell and make them see some light and hope. 

Here is the link :

https://youtu.be/COOIPFVm5gQ


Each one of us deserves to be happy and to be able to feel love and hope. 

Just tried to give a bit of my share to the society and this world.... 

Spread a little happiness, 

Let's see those beautiful smiles ! 

Traditional Kashmiri woman

A traditional Kashmiri woman 

What a pleasure to meet her !  :) 

The picturesque Jammu & Kashmir

Mesmerizing view at Patnitop, J&K. 

Valley and old lake in Sanasar Mountains, J&K. 

Sanasar mountains 

Green apple trees at Patnitop 

Baby pine tree 

Deodar trees all over Patnitop. 

A beautiful sight ! 

For a click during trekking 

At Sanasar 

Driving through the clouds ! 

Old Palace of Maharaja of 

Kashmir 

Black crow on the car

Just the right thing to do with people who bore you with chain messages and exploit your friendship.

It is a sort of emotional blackmail.

" Send this message to so many people and see the miracle happen within so and so days.....
Or
If you ignore it, something bad will happen within such and such hour or days.

And poor friends just forward the message to as many people as is asked in the message.
No one wants bad luck !

Fools.

As if forwarding a certain message is going to bring all the good luck in the world !

Sometimes I find a message from someone who hasn't sent a message in ages.
Wow !
Finally someone remembered me.

I open the message only to find out one of such silly, idiotic messages.

A perverted joke.

Today I read a funny news in newspaper regarding superstition.

Chief Minister of a Southern State in this country bought a new car.

A brand new SUV.

To his horror he found a black crow sitting on his brand new shining,  white  luxury car.
Bad omen.

What did the minister do?

He really made me cry with too much laughing :)

He bought another car !

And the old car was just @ 10 days old.

Height of superstition.

The crow must be laughing at the ignorance of such humans.

I am sure a black crow sitting on a white car looked more beautiful than the sight of such pompous fool of a minister sitting inside the car !

What a variety of clowns adorn this beautiful earth .

They do us a service.

By bringing smiles  on people's faces :)

Skin care for specially abled

Today I made this little audio /video file for persons with disabilities. 

Simple skin care tips with some information about acne. 

Here is the link :


https://youtu.be/Z6nD0HsU3dM

Superstitions... Choose your colours

Superstitions. 

Every one of us is under the influence of Superstitions at one point of time or other. 

It may be just a fleeting thought of doubt... 

Or 

One is superstitious for most part of one's life. 

I find it so amusing. 

I must admit being one of the people who often indulge in harmless superstitions. 

Are we absurdly inclined towards such stone age practices? 

Absurd or funny.... It doesn't matter as long as it is harmless. 

It certainly adds some color to the bland thinking and imagination. 

Talking of colours, reminds me of an interesting conversation with a colleague few years ago. 
We were sitting in my clinic during evening hours. 
As usual she had some strange topic to discuss. 

Her usual topics of discussion were :

Man &  woman relations & sexual habits 

And 

Juicy gossip ( mostly lies) 

It would bore me listening to her, answering her queries, noticing the fake expression of surprise and feigned ignorance. 
Day after day she would talk of these topics only. 
Simply obsessed with it ! 

I remember once she had some problem  " down there". 
She asked me to examine her and lay down on the examination table. 
She was asked to expose the parts and she was more than eager to do that. 

I  had a look and said that there was no problem. 
But she insisted that I look "properly" at the parts, all the while exposing her " treasure". 
I obliged her, again sticking to my early version of her being without any disease or problem. 
She used to send me text messages saying " sexy, sexy". Never was I more fed up of hearing this word ! 
Well she was a friend and I just ignored her lusty rantings. 

So it was a surprise for me when she deviated from her favorite topic and talked of colours. 

That was something new for me and I owe her my knowledge about this. 

Knowledge or superstition? 

She said I must choose the colors of the clothes which I wear, according to the days. 

She was surprised I didn't know about it. 
"Every one knows, ma'am ", she said. 

So here was the color calendar :

Monday -  white 

Tuesday -  Red 

Wednesday -  green 

Thursday -  orange or yellow 

Friday -  blue or white 

Saturday -  black 

Sunday -  red ( although I am not very sure of Sunday) 

She said if you wore clothes according to color of the day, you don't have problems and the day is uneventful. 
It is an easy day, blabla.... 

So I was "trapped"  by her suggestion. 
What harm can it do? 

After that I started observing people on the roads, offices, markets etc. 
Yes, she was right ! 
Mostly people wore colors according to the days ! 

But one amusing incident occurred in my clinic once. 
I can't forget it though it has been 4 years now. 

A turbaned man came to show me his problem. 
He was supposed to show his genitals where the problem lay. 
While he was removing his pants, one sight made me want to burst into the laughter. 

It was his  yellow underwear ! 

It reminded me it was Thursday . :)) 

Imagine a tall, muscular, hairy fellow standing before you in tiny yellow underwear ! 

Like Superman ! 

I suppressed my laughter and examined him with usual clinical detachment, all the time avoiding looking at the peeping yellow underwear. 
It was hilarious :) 

On the sets of the TV series of great epics Ramayana and Mahabharata.

Recreating the magic of ancient India with its rich cultural heritage.

Amazing !

Eulogy to FMW

These lines I wrote for the " Female Medical Ward" (FMW). 

Strange thing to write something in the memory of a hospital ward. 

But this ward was the center of my days of residency in the Department of Medicine. 

I learned a lot..... Professionally and personally.... 

So when the time was nearing for the training to finish, I felt inclined to write something for this place. 
My successors would come and go. 

But this ward with its patients, nurses, strange smells ( of antiseptic plus human sweat mixed), its noisy corridor (especially in the morning when the head nurse would shout at the sweeper to clean properly, do this and that, blabla.....) 

We used to sit in doctors duty room and rush from time to time to attend to some patient or do the rounds and work up. 

Yes I was definitely going to miss this ward in the government hospital ! 

So the few lines for FMW on 6 th floor.... 


O! I will miss you my sixth floor, 
When I will walk through that door, 
Of Department of Medicine, 
 General Hospital, 
Giving way to some new comer. 
Ough ! That familiar stink, 
Which attacked my nose 
and made me blink, 
Was I somewhere in hell? 
No I was in FMW, General Hospital. 
Early in the morning, 
And doors are shut, 
Banging and screaming, 
I give it a jolt, 
To get in return, 
A very bad sore throat, 
And I feel like slapping, 
Whosoever I see first. 
There comes the sweeper's shout, 
Asking the relatives to get out, 
I keep on walking, 
With my head hung down, 
Embarrassed and feeling like a clown. 
There ! The nurses are complaining, 
How many drips remaining? 
Accusing each other of laziness 
But neither  moving from the seat they possess.  
(on night duty.....) 
Still of the night, 
And a "bibi" has come, 
"shishter-shishter ! 
Patient is restless and almost dead ! "
I run to find all fair and sound, 
And just can't help banging my head. 
Ah! Our Doctors Duty Room, 
Where people come, 
And friendships bloom, 
This is the place that has witnessed, 
All the unsaid things being said. 
Our fights and our plays, 
When I remember, 
My whole world sways. 
I wish I could stay some more, 
To feel the uniqueness, 
Never felt before. 

( written on night duty, in late October 1989) 

Poems and songs

Couple of days ago I came across my old diary of poems. 

I discovered I was a talented little girl.... 

There were poems / songs which I had written when I was 14 - 15 years old. 

There were @ 4 songs which I remember composing myself. 
I would write a song, drag out my harmonium from under the bed and compose the song and sing it too ! 

Wow ! 

I didn't have tabla ( percussion instrument) at home. So I used to pick two steel jars or containers from the kitchen and use them as tabla and sing on and on..... 

I never got tired of playing the instrument and singing. 
If I didn't have the steel containers, I would use the table as tabla . 

And I remember when I was 14 year old, I would come home from school and after having lunch I would turn towards " food for my soul" that is singing. 

Interestingly often I would lean on the wooden almirah in the bedroom and close my eyes and sing songs, my hands behind my back playing tabla on the almirah.... 

The songs I wrote and sang were full of feeling and meaning.... 

Total virginity of body and mind..... 

Innocence personified. 

I would look wide eyed at people and tried to see the truth, honesty, pure love in their eyes..... 

Little did I know that as you grow older, there are layers and layers of multiple personalities upon your eyes and heart. 
One doesn't even bother to look deep inside and see who really he/she is..... 

These thoughts still cling to me.... 
They are very much a part of me.... 
I feel thankful sometimes that I didn't avert or close my eyes to the power of innocent self. 

When I looked at the old diary two days ago, something amused me too. 

There were two things I never failed to mention :

The name of the person ( written in code sometimes :) ) or some event that triggered the thought process and woke up the poet in me from its slumber. 


And 

The date and time of penning down the thoughts and feelings... Pouring out my heart. 

There were strange venues too. 
Most unusual places to write poems. 
For example, the D - Hall, near the body which we were dissecting in Anotamy practicals. 
Or 
When I was on night duties during my government job. 
The silence of night was a perfect accompaniment to the turmoil of my thoughts and feelings  which were eager to flow out of my heart. 

I see that I had dedicated some poems to people who touched my life in this journey. 

Some were beautiful souls.... Just extraordinary. 

And some were ordinary people with their own faults and limitations. 
They did not share my view. Neither could they make me see the sense in their point of view. 

Still my heart with its never ending fountain of love, never ceased expressing. 

Most troublesome aspect of any friendship was the confusion between love and lust. 

And 

also confusion between real  love and selfish craziness which is called love. 

Well, I encountered both the confusions and it was quite disconcerting. 

People misunderstood you, 
Wanted to have you at any cost. 
Their inflated egos hurt when you refused. 
No !  It is not possible ! 

Every girl wants it. Why don't you? Why do you say," No"? 

You are weird ! 

All this made me think I was indeed weird, a misfit for this rat race of grab and swallow. 

No I can't lose my originality, my honesty, 
I can't close my eyes. 
I can't limit myself to these unseen chains.... 

My thoughts are like free birds, they need air and limitless sky. 

The  battle of passion and wrinkled bedsheets.... They can't be my whole world ! 

Some purity ought to remain so that I can soar high above all this muck of ignorance and deceit. 

Ignorance and deceit and greed....... Has not it become a trilogy of a deadly epidemic these days? 

But amidst all these weeds of characters, one sees the real blooming flowers who spread fragrance around them.... 
Fragrance of understanding, compassion and honesty..... Honesty of thoughts and pure love. 

Ah , the little girl tugs at me after all these years ! 
And I must listen to her. 

For who is nearer to my soul than this seed of purity?